Story #14

well. felt like blogging again.
hais. my emotions unstable now, awhile happy bcause of friends who made me laugh, awhile sad bcause of you. i think i made a mistake in loving you too much. rly a mistake. nt sure about your feelings towards me. but tbh, i dont really feel anything. well, maybe a little. so... today. somehow got into an argument again. you rank the same as my dog. know how important that position in my heart is ? cried so much for you. today, once more. when i saw your replies. you dont realise it, i guess, but i do feel the hurt kay. i dont wanna tell my feelings to you, i dont wanna get said that im asking for sympathy or whatsoever. so it's just between me and myself. i have been chanting "kevin is so cute." everyday, almost every moment in school, in class and when i see you. but. what do i get in return ? i get jealous, i get mad, i get hurt, it's all because i care. dont realise it ? seeing you constantlty getting close to girls, im dying inside. i told you once, twice, and didnt feel like repeating myself again. i"ve been constantly drawing your name in class, that sometimes i didnt pay attention. and all that chantings, my friends said im noisy. it was a joke, but then, i just dont wish to let you know all my feelings and emotions until today. i post on blog. whether you see it anot, i dk. but i hope you wont see it. it's my personal blog, so i have no other places to vent. but here. it may be a mistake that i gave you my blog link toooo. i got broken friendships with friends, because of you. yet did i blame you ? no. sacrificed so much. 2 more days to psle. yet im feeling so much for you. i got reallyreally upset whenever i quarrel with you. crying is weak. i get weak everytime. no one understands me i guess. most of the times i really look cheerful on the outside, but. who knows what im feeling deep inside ? yep, nobody. knowing that andrea is always there for you when you need help, knowing that both of you can get really close, be it form class or chinese class. yet i cant do anything. i wouldnt want to break friendships again, all i can do is to hide. i liked jason longer than you, yet i dont feel as much as how i feel for you. while jason is like much sweeter, everyday saying mushy stuffs. but i kept rejecting and rejecting. you ? i guess its the opposite. whatever la. i really die inside every single time i think about those times when i see you getting close to other girls. yep, im close to jiaqing. i admit that. he's register number is like 1 number after me. in class he sits infront of me. how do you expect me not to talk to him. but please, he got a crush. that he liked since p5. i always wanted to talk to you in school, but did not have the guts. seeing how close you and her were in sch, i only kept quiet. i just hope that you can really understand me.